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The Bird. Oh lordie, the bird! Have you ordered a fresh, local, pink-and-plump, contented-till-the-day-it-met-its-Maker variety bird? Or will you head to the supermarket and buy a ‘butter’ basted frozen rock of a beast with a wing tip missing?
Rather depends on your budget and your beliefs, but this story isn’t about that. This is about avoiding the whole turkey thing — the ordering, queuing, collecting and lugging home, stuffing, trussing, roasting, (Is it done, good God is it done? How do I tell if it’s done?) making gravy, mashed potatoes, cranberry jelly… Just how many years now have you been doing the damn Turkey Dinner my friend? Quite right. Too many.
